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Archive for 7/6/2008 to 7/13/2008Rock. Paper. Scissors...I Like my Job..don't get me wrong.&Before I start this post.I just want to say:Mom - I love you.Taking care of an elderly isn't an easy job.This is coming from experience people.If you don't believe me..Age your parents about 50 years..Add at least one doctor visit a week.A shit load of pills.Medical Bills.15 Walmart trips a month...Depends.Wet sheets.oh.and dementia.Then multiply that by 365 for everyday of the year..Uh Huh.There comes a day in a child's life when they realize.. Oh SHIT.. w[...] Source: Pull The Plug. Seriously.  Fly, Little Birdie, Fly! Humor-Blogs.com 3.0 has been released into the wild. Let's hope it flourishes out there in the interwebs.The changes should be pretty obvious. If you click on a link from a blog that is listed on Humor-Blogs.com (like this one, for example), you'll be greeted with a list of posts from that blog. You can click on the smiley if you like a post, or the smiley if you don't like a post. Posts are listed in order by the number of smileys they've gotten minus the number of smileys they've gotten[...] Fly, Little Birdie, Fly! Humor-Blogs.com 3.0 has been released into the wild. Let's hope it flourishes out there in the interwebs.The changes should be pretty obvious. If you click on a link from a blog that is listed on Humor-Blogs.com (like this one, for example), you'll be greeted with a list of posts from that blog. You can click on the smiley if you like a post, or the smiley if you don't like a post. Posts are listed in order by the number of smileys they've gotten minus the number of smileys they've gotten[...] Fly, Little Birdie, Fly! Humor-Blogs.com 3.0 has been released into the wild. Let's hope it flourishes out there in the interwebs.The changes should be pretty obvious. If you click on a link from a blog that is listed on Humor-Blogs.com (like this one, for example), you'll be greeted with a list of posts from that blog. You can click on the smiley if you like a post, or the smiley if you don't like a post. Posts are listed in order by the number of smileys they've gotten minus the number of smileys they've gotten[...] Sunday Retarded Argument #30 | Sofa Vs. Refrigerator Today I had the pleasure of removing the old refrigerator, and moving in the new one. This is the sort of work that men do. It’s neither appropriate nor possible for frail, fragile women to move such heavy and large pieces of equipment. As I deftly maneuvered the large appliances around, I noticed the thick layer of sweat glistening on my body, and it reaffirmed my masculinity, not that it needed reaffirming. It was then that I was struck with the topic of this week’s exercise in [...] Odds and Ends BoyChild and GirlChild were working on some driveway art which involved paint splatters. I told them there was a famous artist named Jackson Pollock who created works that were entirely paint splatters. We looked them up on the internet. And then BoyChild pipes up, "Why is he famous then?"Excellent my son.---------------------------BoyChild's first grade class kept journals this year. He brought his home and leafing through it, you would believe that the sole adjective in his vocabulary is 'cool[...] Source: Honey Pie Sundays with Sylvia: Volume I It's the first installment of Sundays with Sylvia, and todays topic is one that is always on everyone's mind: Your enormous cans.If you're sick and tired of pinning your own arms down when you sleep on your back, you might be interested to hear what Sylvia has to say this week.If, however, you make your living like this:You might want to skip this post.It probably goes without saying that if Sylvia thinks massaging the breasts is dangerous, then using them to break boards and crush cans would a[...] Source: 15 Minute Lunch We're Nunber One at Humor-Blogs.com!!! We're Number 1!!!!!!!!!I want it noted that for, no doubt a very very brief time, It's a funny thing... Was number one with a bullet in humor-blogs.com!Timing is of course, everything.(I'm expecting a congratulatory call from The 15 Minute Lunch momentarily.)Meanwhile, click here and keep me there!!! [...] Source: It's a Funny Thing... The "Why I Can't Be A Catholic" Offensive So recently I was invited by a friend to attend services at the local Catholic church. Of course I declined, and I think I may have offended my friend in doing so.I know. :(But in my defense, he's the one who put me on the spot so I had to come up with something, and I certainly didn't want to tell him that I just don't need any church to fulfill my needs because I fulfill my own needs quite nicely and quite often, thank you very much.Hey!Don't give me that look!I meant I fulfill my needs by goi[...] Source: The Offended Blogger A bug just flew up my nose, lady. A BUG! Sometimes I really hate being a small town “celebrity.” I took Jonathan for a walk a couple of weeks ago, just a quick trip around the block, I thought. Part way around I see a lady from my church standing in her driveway. “Oh! I’ve been waiting for you!” she declares. Never a good thing for a small town reporter to hear. “I’ve been meaning to get down to the paper, but I haven’t had the time,” she says. She then proceeds to unfold a piece of notebook paper from her pocket. On it are names she c[...] Source: Boondock Ramblings Two Time Caption Contest Winner The staff and patrons of McCafferty's Pub are proud to announce that once again we are the recipients of a first place award in a prestigious humor competition. The boys in blue over at Mattress Police recently awarded McCafferty's Pub the highly coveted "In Your Face" award for our first place finish in the competitive Mattress Police Caption Contest. We are especially proud recipients of this renowned trophy because it is the second time that the folks at Mick's Pub have won first place in t[...] Source: McCafferty's Pub Two Time Caption Contest Winner The staff and patrons of McCafferty's Pub are proud to announce that once again we are the recipients of a first place award in a prestigious humor competition. The boys in blue over at Mattress Police recently awarded McCafferty's Pub the highly coveted "In Your Face" award for our first place finish in the competitive Mattress Police Caption Contest. We are especially proud recipients of this renowned trophy because it is the second time that the folks at Mick's Pub have won first place in t[...] Source: McCafferty's Pub Two Time Caption Contest Winner The staff and patrons of McCafferty's Pub are proud to announce that once again we are the recipients of a first place award in a prestigious humor competition. The boys in blue over at Mattress Police recently awarded McCafferty's Pub the highly coveted "In Your Face" award for our first place finish in the competitive Mattress Police Caption Contest. We are especially proud recipients of this renowned trophy because it is the second time that the folks at Mick's Pub have won first place in t[...] Source: McCafferty's Pub No (Pointing Out) Fat Chicks My six year old daughter once said of one of the teachers at her school, "Mrs. _____ is really strong." She added, by way of clarification, "Because we can't say fat."I'm not sure where my daughter got the idea that strong is an appropriate euphemism for fat, but I'm sure I had something to do with teaching her that calling someone fat is not socially acceptable. Once, for example, when my kids were younger, I took them to Sears. While I was browsing the hardware section, they were playing I[...] No (Pointing Out) Fat Chicks My six year old daughter once said of one of the teachers at her school, "Mrs. _____ is really strong." She added, by way of clarification, "Because we can't say fat."I'm not sure where my daughter got the idea that strong is an appropriate euphemism for fat, but I'm sure I had something to do with teaching her that calling someone fat is not socially acceptable. Once, for example, when my kids were younger, I took them to Sears. While I was browsing the hardware section, they were playing I[...] In Memory Of James Scott Terrill Do you ever get really creeped out by something and cannot shake the feeling that something isn't quite right?I received a comment on the Guerrilla Parenting blog, late Friday night. The commenter informed me that Scott Terrill, a former Supernanny dad had committed suicide that night. The really creepy part was that the commenter knew before anything had been reported. They even told me that it was a suicide. Yet, there is no other information in the media that points to suicide. The commenter [...] Source: A Womb At The Inn(sane) In Memory Of James Scott Terrill Do you ever get really creeped out by something and cannot shake the feeling that something isn't quite right?I received a comment on the Guerrilla Parenting blog, late Friday night. The commenter informed me that Scott Terrill, a former Supernanny dad had committed suicide that night. The really creepy part was that the commenter knew before anything had been reported. They even told me that it was a suicide. Yet, there is no other information in the media that points to suicide. The commenter [...] Source: A Womb At The Inn(sane) In Memory Of James Scott Terrill Do you ever get really creeped out by something and cannot shake the feeling that something isn't quite right?I received a comment on the Guerrilla Parenting blog, late Friday night. The commenter informed me that Scott Terrill, a former Supernanny dad had committed suicide that night. The really creepy part was that the commenter knew before anything had been reported. They even told me that it was a suicide. Yet, there is no other information in the media that points to suicide. The commenter [...] Source: A Womb At The Inn(sane) In Memory Of James Scott Terrill Do you ever get really creeped out by something and cannot shake the feeling that something isn't quite right?I received a comment on the Guerrilla Parenting blog, late Friday night. The commenter informed me that Scott Terrill, a former Supernanny dad had committed suicide that night. The really creepy part was that the commenter knew before anything had been reported. They even told me that it was a suicide. Yet, there is no other information in the media that points to suicide. The commenter [...] Source: A Womb At The Inn(sane) We need a tent over here STAT! Good news, FEMA! There is a new Designated Jackass in town. And it's called the US Food and Drug Administration.In fact, I am starting to wonder if the FDA doesn't share office space with the clown school from Ringling Brothers Circus. And maybe, from time-to-time, their employees cross over. You know, the clowns might get tired of all of that makeup, giant shoes and red rubber noses. So they'd think, "You know, this job kind of sucks. Maybe I'll try on the US FDA gig for a while."And the FDA gu[...] Source: The Blog of Bex Breakfast of Champions They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Frankly, I can’t function unless I eat a little something in the mornings. Today is no exception. My breakfast consisted of 2 Tylenol, 4 Advil, 1 antibiotic, and some Cherry Coke Zero. That’s right, kids, I’m getting sick again. My throat is sore, my head hurts, and as a cherry on this sickness sundae, I just realized I have a bladder infection. Super. My life totally rules right now. You know the best part? [...] Source: Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me Breakfast of Champions They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Frankly, I can’t function unless I eat a little something in the mornings. Today is no exception. My breakfast consisted of 2 Tylenol, 4 Advil, 1 antibiotic, and some Cherry Coke Zero. That’s right, kids, I’m getting sick again. My throat is sore, my head hurts, and as a cherry on this sickness sundae, I just realized I have a bladder infection. Super. My life totally rules right now. You know the best part? [...] Source: Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me Breakfast of Champions They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. Frankly, I can’t function unless I eat a little something in the mornings. Today is no exception. My breakfast consisted of 2 Tylenol, 4 Advil, 1 antibiotic, and some Cherry Coke Zero. That’s right, kids, I’m getting sick again. My throat is sore, my head hurts, and as a cherry on this sickness sundae, I just realized I have a bladder infection. Super. My life totally rules right now. You know the best part? [...] Source: Bridget Jones Has Nothing On Me Hey! She is a Handsom Woman I hate retard movies and I’ll tell you why. Why is it when you do an impersonation of a “special needs” person, it’s considered offensive almost to the level of Glenn Close, but when an “actor” is doing the same thing (for millions I might add), they win awards, they’re idolized, and (they’re obviously not Carlos Mencia) people love them for it ?! It’s almost the same formula for movies with gay characters that star straight guys pretending they have the ‘queer eye’. We need real retards, damn [...] Source: The Nothing Report Don't give ME your garbage! Last Sunday, I took my niece Natalia to see Wall-E. She's an incredibly intelligent little 5 year old and GOT THE MESSAGE (while I napped and made fun of the boneless fatties).Take care of Earth, be responsible, recycle blah blah blah... .She knew all these things already because of her cool Tia Bee (me) but seeing Wall-E really drove the point home..Today, I called my sister and told her to come over for some yummy grillin' by Chef Bee and her sidekick Andy (I do the cooking, he is my sous chef[...] Source: Bee's Musings |
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