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Welcome to Humor-Blogs.com!
Today's Top Rated Posts
i drink crappy margaritas so you don’t have to (sorry JD)
i hate to pilfer from a fellow blogger, but i just got back from mexico and i need to rant a little.
it’s been a really long summer, and i have spent the last few weeks looking forward to doing nothing but lying in the sun and getting stinking canned.
i’ve been to quite a few tropical ge[...]
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Score
15
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Can Openers: They're Not Just for Cans Anymore
Anybody here read Wired magazine? You know that "How To" section last month that gave this super helpful tip on opening those electronics blister packaging?
Scissors and steak knives are dangerous, they said. Use a can opener, they said. Just clamp down on the edge and start cranking, they said.
[...]
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Score
11
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For the record
Over the years a few people (probably only tens of tens) have considered me something of a ball-buster. This reputation has undoubtedly been promoted by overly sensitive men who just can't handle my bluntness and sharp tongue. (pansies) But, I'd like to set the record straight (heterosexual straigh[...]
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Score
11
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Reason #53 why you shouldn't shop at the Wal-marts
Recently, I was walking through the myriad of aisles at Wal-mart searching for some sort of protein bar. I have no idea where anything is in this store. When I need something, I just start on the first aisle, and work my way to the back. If I don't seem to find what I'm looking for, I just leave the[...]
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Score
11
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Don't Cry - It's Just Armageddon
July 1, 1998 is a day that will forever hold a special place in my heart. It's the day I saw the movie Armageddon for the first time.Let me get this out of the way first: It was not a good script. It was not good acting. It was as far fetched as you could possibly get. The special effects, for the t[...]
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Score
9
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Bush Orders Guns N’ Roses Back to Work
Report by Jan Lewis, CA Chapter Citing “some regulation or something” that allows the President to send striking workers back to work, George W. Bush, Monday, ordered Slash (pictured right), Izzy, and Duff back into the Guns N’ Roses line up. “If Axl (upper left) and Slash can’t get along and make[...]
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Score
8
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Knock knock.... anybody here?
Creeeeeek... Hello? Hello? Anyone in here?Yikes, this place is deserted - and falling apart! I see some fresh footprints in the dust though, they look like Teri's. Aww, isn't that sweet... she left me a nice note on the mirror. Thanks Teri, I miss you too!Well, I probably should open the place back [...]
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Score
7
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Full Speedo Ahead!
Being the exceptional mother that I am, I took my little darlings to the beach today. I had them pack a nice lunch for us to enjoy as we take in the sun and savor the last few days of summer. I checked and had no court dates or drug tests today, so why not?It's crazy how much stuff you need to pack [...]
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Score
5
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Wanted- all available ugly chicks
CANBERRA - A plea for lovelorn female "ugly ducklings" to move to a remote Australian mining town to reverse a shortage of eligible women has landed the local mayor in hot water.Mount Isa Mayor John Molony was refusing to apologize on Monday for angering local women (local women meaning, the ugly on[...]
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Score
4
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The Suburban Neighborhood Super Heroes
So imagine the neighborhood was a comic book (or saturday morning cartoon show, for you illiterate sons of bitches). These following people would be the stars of the show as they are the SUBURBAN NEIGHBORHOOD SUPERHEROES!AKA: Shirtless Lawn Mower GuyPowers: Durable skin allows him to be shirtless re[...]
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Score
4
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THE TEA PEOPLE
According to the Tea People, I live in a vortex. I moved 150 miles and two states away because the powerful vortex energy here called to my subconscious and drew me in, making me pack up my crap, my kid, my dog and move to a place where the only soul I knew was the real estate agent who failed to [...]
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Score
3
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Snapshot of History: King George IV Baby Picture
The future King of Great Britain, George IV, wearing a dress - a pastime he never outgrew.
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Score
3
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trapped!
Muskrat is trapped in the taiga. His KC-135 Air Force tanker plane has broken down (twice). He hopes to get home in a couple days to revisit the blogosphere (and catch up on a ridiculously large amount of work, he’s sure).
The trip has been great so far. Have seen a black bear, porpoises, [...]
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Score
3
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